Here is my attempt to answer the dilemma of not being able to see Jesus. What I really hear you asking is how do I trust someone that I cannot see. How do I talk to Him? How can I grow close to Him?
I was much older than you when I began asking those questions. Actually, I asked the same questions of a lot of different people starting in high school. I never felt like I got the answer until I was in my first year of college.
Then a group of people shared with me stories of their life as related to Jesus. They gave me enough information to make me want to get to know this invisible person myself. If you ask me to tell you the specific story about how I came to know Jesus as a friend, I will when you are ready.
When I started to know Jesus as a friend, I started talking to him or praying. I could not hear his answers with my ears. But, I could hear him talk to me when I read the Bible. And sometimes, I could hear him by listening with my heart.
Having a relationship with an invisible person is not easy. I forget to listen with my heart or skip reading the Bible at times. But next year will be my 40th year knowing Jesus. He has a track record with me now. He has protected me and been with me. Even when he has let me go through hard things, I have seen later that those things blessed me somehow. He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother.
The biggest thing that tells me that friendship with Jesus has been worthwhile is the freedom that has come. Freedom from fear and freedom from trying to be my own god. It is a wonderful thing to know the King of the Universe. He is pleased to take the time to hear from me and to talk back to me.
When I look at your face, I feel like you still have the glory of God shining from you as little children do. It seems to me that you are still glowing from being in his presence not long ago. Listen to Jesus with your heart Ellie. Talk to him as the friend who is always there. No one really knows how to talk to Jesus better than a child.
We can talk about this more anytime you want to. I love you.