This blog explores the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of total health with some children's stories thrown in to break the intensity.

Archive for the ‘Healing the mind’ Category

Detoxing the Body, Mind and Spirit


BODY

There are so many views by nutritional experts that it is a confusing subject.  I have studied different theories and diets in the past 5 years with an eye to healing my body of cancer.

I have discovered that while there are many differences in nutrition theories, there are also many common elements.  There are many benefits to incorporating good nutrition: better health, lower medical costs, increased mental concentration, more consistently high energy levels, less hyperactivity and improved behavior.

  1. Organic–grass-fed–pastured–local–non GMO (genetically modified organism): It is best to eat foods with the least possible amount of pesticides, chemicals, processing, and tampering (genetic modification).  The more organic, pastured, grass-fed, and process free food is–the better.   Some terms, like cage free and free-range, leave wiggle room.  What you want to ask is “Did this animal eat grass and bugs?”   Poultry and eggs from pastured chickens are especially important.    Except in seasons when there is no green grass outside, you will see a dramatic difference in pastured chicken eggs.  The yolks are very orange from pastured chickens.  These eggs are packed full of nutrients.  A local source for pastured chicken products is Prairie Crossings in Grayslake, IL.  Pastured foods (meats, eggs, dairy products) differ chemically from grain fed meats etc.  They are radically better for our bodies.  Animals store toxins in their fats which is marbled throughout the body.  Fats from grain fed animals store the pesticides used to treat the grain.  These meats are so unhealthy, whereas the fat from grass-fed animals is actually good for you.  As far as organic versus non-organic, it takes only minimal reasoning to know that organic food is better.  What goes on a plant goes into the plant then into us when we eat it.  Pesticides will not completely wash off produce. They are absorbed into plants just as our body absorbs a portion of the things we put on our skin. It may seem like bad economics to buy organic, grass-fed and pastured.  However, consider the alternative in higher medical costs and bad health.  Also, unprocessed foods are cheaper than processed. (By processed, I mean anything which changes food from it’s original garden-fresh state.)   Processing removes nutrients and adds toxins.  When you stay with organic and unprocessed versus non-organic and processed, you may find that the cost balances out.  The best source for garden foods is to raise them yourself.  Start converting your flower gardens.  We have started front and back yard veggie gardens and it is great fun–no complaints from the neighbors yet.  It is possible to make food gardens look quite lovely.  The second best source is local farmers.  Check out farmer’s markets.  They may or may not be good resources.  Ask specifics about how they raise their products to decide.  Third in line are dependable stores.  Whole Foods, Costco, Mariano’s, selective Kroger’s, and Giant Eagle stores have organic produce plus some organic and grass-fed meats and dairy products.  There is some question about fish being safe because of mercury levels, but it is best to eat cold water, smaller fish wild caught from places like Alaska, or Norway.  A good source is http://www.vitalchoice.com/newsletter_index2.cfm
  2. Include Raw.  It is good to add raw produce into our diets at least to the level that it comprises at least 1/3 of our total diet.  This can be fresh fruits and veggies, smoothies, or even cooked or dehydrated foods if they are cooked below 105 degrees. Raw foods have more vitamins, and live enzymes.  Frozen foods lose some vitamins but they are still better than canned.  If you are in a rush, give your child frozen veggies–they thaw almost immediately in warm water.  You don’t even have to cook them. They make great finger food, and kids enjoy them if their palates are not spoiled by sugar and processed foods.  There may need to be a re-education process of your whole family’s palates, if they have some bad food habits.  The pain of withdrawal and change is well worth it in the long run.  My experience is that it takes 2 weeks of misery to get over my addictions to sugar and processed food.
  3. Sprout.  Sprouted seeds and nuts have more nutrition than non-sprouted.  Soaking and sprouting also provide fresh greens especially  in winter. Sprouted foods are delicious,  Here is a website on how to sprout.  http://www.raw-food-diet-magazine.com/how-to-sprout-seeds.html  E-Z Sprouter is the product I use to sprout.  I looked on Amazon for the cheapest price and copied the website:  http://www.amazon.com/Sproutamo-Easy-Sprout-Sprouter/dp/B000GHUD86  This one is $14.50.
  4. Look for food intolerances.  I eliminated dairy from my diet and feel that it would be beneficial for many people.  Certainly non-organic milk is loaded with horrible things including hormones, chemicals, antibiotics and more.  Of course, that carries over to cottage cheese, butter, and cheese.  Ideally, if one wanted to use dairy products, the closest to mother’s milk is organic goat’s milk.  In an earlier time and place, we had a herd of dairy goats.  We gave our sons raw goat milk because they had obvious and severe cow milk allergies.  We also had grass-fed cows for beef and organic gardens before they were dubbed with those terms.  Besides dairy there are many common intolerances.  Gluten is another common intolerance.  There are many others.  You can check out an elimination diet to help with this: http://integrativemedicine.arizona.edu/file/11270/handout_elimination_diet_patient.pdf
  5. Veg out.  Many agree that veggies should be the staple of most people’s diet.    It is easy to cut up a sweet potato or raw red peppers.  Kids love these–so do adults.  Or throw in some organic carrots or celery for a road trip.  Everyone needs a minimum amount of protein and fat. This cannot be ignored, especially in children.  However too much meat in a diet is not a good thing either.  There must be balance.
  6. Reduce sugar.  Refined sugar, white flour and processed fructose in a diet beat up the pancreas. They contribute greatly to obesity.  They cause spikes and plummets in blood sugar levels. Keep in mind that if you or your family have blood sugar level problems, these other foods may need to be eaten more sparingly also.  Grains, when digested, also become sugar in the body.  Even whole grains, while giving good nutritional elements, can contribute to high sugar levels.  Beans, except lima beans, break down into sugar.  Potatoes produce spikes in blood sugar levels also. Fruits, especially sweeter ones like bananas must be eaten with moderation also, as they can cause sugar levels to increase.  However, these things are much easier on the body than refined sugar, fructose and white flour.  In a whole different category, soda is not only harmful in the ridiculous amounts of sugar it contains, it is also harmful in the many chemicals and carbonation.  (Soda pop should be the very first thing to go in our family’s diets.)  In many people, overconsumption of  sugary foods cause the blood sugar levels to fluctuate between too little sugar in the blood to too much sugar in the blood.  Eventually the body can develop insulin resistance, then pre-diabetes, then diabetes.  In families with genetic predisposition, mindfulness is even more necessary.  Blood sugar related diseases are at epidemic proportions in America now.  These diseases include diabetes, yeast and many fungal infections, and secondarily many other ailments.  Even in children, these conditions are increasing.  A great cookbook for the whole family is Internal Bliss. It gives recipes that foster health by lowering sugar.  By lowering sugar, you will eliminate the hyper periods your kids get from sugar highs.  No longer will your kids have the dramatic energy drops when their blood sugar crashes down after a sugar high.  You will have kids who are healthier hence fewer doctor visits and sick days.  Your family’s concentration level will also drastically increase.  I have read that sugar is more addictive than cocaine.  Determine to hang in for the long haul on conquering sugar’s hold.  It will be a battle.  Work on it a little at a time.  First eliminate sodas and store bought juices.  Pasteurized juices are high in sugar and have many of the nutrients destroyed by pasteurization.  Just give your kids organic milk or filtered water.  Next remove all desserts as we typically think of them and replace them with fruit.  Next change processed and sugary snacks to fruits / veggies/ dried fruits and veggies/ nuts and seeds.  Replace cereal breakfasts with pastured eggs and veggies.  Throw in occasional banana peanut butter “pancakes” and or fresh smoothies from veggies and fruit.
  7. Eat in a probiotic way.  Many people are overrun by candida (yeast) and harmful bacteria because of the standard American diet (SAD).  Diets need to promote starving these bad bacteria and feeding the good bacteria.  There is a whole science to this–a diet focused upon creating good flora balance in the gut is called Probiotic.  Starving the bad bacteria is promoted with low sugar diets such as the diet in the cookbook Internal Bliss.    The second component of this and similar diets is feeding the good bacteria which aid in digestion.  This is done by eating pro-biotic food and supplements.  Pro-biotic food is fermented allowing the good bacteria to proliferate.  Sauerkraut and yogurt are familiar to us all.  There are many more like Kimchi, Kombucha, Kefir, Miso, Dill Pickles and Tempeh.  However, one cannot just run to the typical grocery store for these.  Many at the grocery store are loaded with sugar, or are an imitation made with vinegar rather than true fermentation.  You can either make your own or find a source such as Bubbie’s brand and King’s brands.  These can be found at Whole Foods.  Other stores such as Jewel will often special order these upon request.  If you are interested in making your own a good website that I found is http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/06/baby-steps-eating-cultured-and-fermented-foods.html.
  8. Filter your water.  Unfiltered water can be another source of toxins.  Put a filter on your kitchen faucet.  Ideal is to have one that filters out bacteria, chemicals and chlorine. A great website to keep up on tests of your city’s water is EWG.com. They also give test results on produce to buy organic and non-organic based on testing for pesticides.  They tell which make up, baby products, sunscreens etc are the safest.  If you want to take detoxing a step further, install a filter on your shower to take out the chlorine that would be absorbed through the skin.
  9. Exercise.  Another great way of detoxing is exercise.  I find the best way to exercise is to multitask.  It makes exercise more interesting.  Walk with a friend.  Do the treadmill or Nordictrak while praying.  Do a quick set of weights to maintain strength while listening to praise music.  Don’t forget energetic dancing with the kids or grandkids to upbeat or worship music. This detoxes body and spirit in one fell swoop.
  10. Vitamin D  Especially in the north, we are all deficient in vitamin D because we do not get enough sun.  A great way to get vitamin D into ourselves and our family is cod liver oil.  It is best when from Alaska or Norway.  Fish from there contains less toxins as well as containing more good fats.
  11. Use safe cleaners etc.  Using natural skin and cleaning products is another way of detoxing.    Vinegar, peroxide, borax and baking soda all make great cleaning products.  Vinegar is antibacterial and antifungal.  Peroxide kills germs without harm to people in your house.  Borax is a powerful cleanser but is much safer than detergents.  Baking soda is a good scrubbing agent and neutralizes odors. Norwex cleaning cloths are a good product to clean without any chemicals.  I have been using them for washing my body and I am having much fewer problems with dry skin. For dry skin, I use coconut oil or rose hips oil.  I use jojoba oil as a hair conditioner.  I use just a drop or two spread on my hands then on damp hair before I dry it. Petroleum based products like baby oil and many ingredients in make up, shampoos, conditioners, sunscreens, moisturizer, as well as most cleaning products contain toxic ingredients.  We can save money and decrease toxins in our homes by making our own.  It is very simple and fast.  I buy the gallon plus bottle of white vinegar at Costco, as well as their largest peroxide and baking soda.  Borax also is very cheap.  I just save my old soap and shampoo bottles to make these.  I bought a few new spray bottles so that I would not have chemical residue contaminating my homemade cleaning supplies for my kitchen and my body.  These homemade products are  not only easy and safe–they are much less expensive.
  12. Gadgets that help.  I have gone through many kitchen gadgets and experimentations in making a healthy yet easy-to-do diet.  I am so not a cook.  I started juicing raw veggies and fruits after my first cancer.  Freshly made juices are beneficial because they are loaded in concentrated nutrients and are easy for the body to digest. If you get a juicer I recommend the Breville Juice Fountain.  I have gotten years of hard use out of mine.  You can find it at Bed Bath and Beyond or online.  However, I have had problems with extracted fresh juices as they are more concentrated in sugars than whole fruits and veggies (even though the sugars are natural sugars).  I have finally gravitated towards making whole juices.  I use an expensive gadget called Blendtec.  It can be purchased online or at Costco.  I use it many times a day.  It will grind grains, even flaxseed which most grinders will not.  Additionally, it will grind coffee beans.  One can make smoothies, whole juices, soups, sauces, ice creams and sorbet in minutes.  The cookbook that came with it is not super healthy or helpful, but I am gradually making a retinue of recipes which I will put in my blog (healingdiscoveries.com) gradually.  Another gadget that makes my life easier is The Vidalia Onion Chopper.  I got mine at Bed Bath and Beyond.  It is $20 and you can always use coupons.  It sounds superfluous but it makes salad and veggie prep fast and easy, and it is a cheap tool.

MIND

  1. Eliminate the toxins.  I have found that nourishing the mind is similar to feeding the body.  If you put good quality in, it functions much better.  This really eliminates most of TV and much reading material.  One needs to be as selective in feeding and exercising the mind as the body.  This includes toxic thoughts and words.  One cannot help what passes through the mind, but there is always a choice on what planes you allow to land in your airport of a mind.
  2. Feed the brain good food.  The Bible is the best food to feed the brain on planet earth.  It makes wise the simple, it is living and active and transforms in a really good way.  Of course, it can be abused and misinterpreted, but that does not detract from the absolute goodness and power of The Book when used in conjunction with the Holy Spirit’s guidance.  I recommend an easy to read translation like the NIV or NLT.  The Message is great for just reading.
  3. Exercise the brain.  I love to do online scrabble to challenge my brain.  It is like any other part of the body.  It needs to be pushed to work its best.

SPIRIT

Honor, give, forgive.  The best way to detox the spirit is honoring, giving and forgiving.  The Bible says that as we give, we will receive; as we judge we will be judged; and as we forgive, we will be forgiven.

You could restate all of this as an inverse golden rule.  As you do to others it will be done to you.

I think if any of these 3 things were easy, then we would all live in peace and harmony in a loving world.  The truth is that these things have a supernatural component.  God must help us.

Firstly, true honoring is seeing someone as God sees him and treating him or her as a true child of God (as a brother or sister that we cherish).  Everyone is to be honored.  It is not a treatment that Is to be earned.  To see people through God’s eyes, we must have the Holy Spirit within us.  This means that we must have accepted the payment that Jesus made for us on the cross and have given him reign in our hearts.

Next, giving can be motivated from many directions.  Only one type of giving makes a lasting difference.  Again, that is the giving led by the Holy Spirit.  Wrong giving can enable, stop personal growth, or interfere with God’s loving processes.  When giving is guided by the Holy Spirit, it accomplishes God’s purposes.

And lastly, forgiveness is the heart of the Bible’s message.  God made it clear that forgiveness is not optional.  Yet, forgiveness is a losing battle unless we enlist God’s help.  We think an offense is long gone only to discover dregs of bitterness in our hearts.  If we recognize repeated bad fruit in our life, often the source of this is unforgiveness, resentment or bitterness lodged in our hearts.  In actuality, we often cannot see the bad fruit in our own lives.  It takes a bold, kind and honest loved one to point it out.

The best way to detox our spirit is prayer.  Pray for God to show us the root of the bad fruit.  Pray for forgiveness in the ways we have judged others (labeled them or put them in a box of our perceived limitations–failed to honor them).  Pray for God to give the gift of forgiveness to us in letting go of offenses and hurts to us.  Pray blessings upon the ones who hurt us.  Give restitution to the ones we have hurt.

Amazingly, one of the best sources for detoxing our spirits is right at our fingertips.  It is the Bible.  The Bible is most useful when it is interpreted to us by the Holy Spirit.  For a non-Christian reading the Bible is like reading history.  For one filled by the Holy Spirit, it is like reading God’s love letters, teachings and admonitions from someone who is speaking to me personally.

The most effective way I have found to detox body, mind and spirit is to hang out with God.  That means many different things–the Bible, dancing with him, talking to him, singing to him and I am sure that I will discover more as I hang around him.  This is something that I am just learning to do after many years of being a Christian in a very dry and rules-oriented way.  It is an adventure that I want to share with everyone.

As Far as the East Is from the West


Healing seems to be a natural thing, something built right into our bodies.  Yet, I have come to feel that all healing is miraculous–we just need eyes to see and ears to hear the truth of that.

Healing of our spirit and soul was also built into the original design plan.  We were designed to forgive and let bitterness be washed out immediately.  Never were we meant to harbor hard feelings or to carry the baggage of not forgiving.  Before sin came to dwell in us and around us, it was man’s nature to live in love.

Often when a crippled mind or heart (or sometimes even body) shows up, there is unforgiveness involved.  Knowing that seemingly unforgivable things happen, things which break my heart when I hear of them, I still know that healthy living only comes with true forgiveness.

So what is true forgiveness?  When I think of an example of forgiveness, I often think of my parents.  When it came to their children, they never failed to give complete forgiveness.  When I did selfish, childish, dumb things and told Mom or Dad I was sorry, never would I hear of my action again.  Actually, I believe my infraction was wiped from their memory.  This is the type of forgiveness God gives to his children in the Bible.  As far as the east is from the west, that is how far a repentant sinner’s wrongs are removed from him.  (East and West never meet, so this is an unfathomably huge separation.)

Is it possible for us to exhibit that kind of forgiveness?  Maybe to our children, with God’s help.  But it is always there in our memory, right?  I am convinced that there is a secret here that needs exploration.  When we are not healed in body, mind and spirit, is it because the dregs of unforgiveness remain?  Do we still tell others about our hurts?  Do we go in circles by repeating our judging then falling into our same old sinful patterns? Could this repetitive pattern be because we are not following in the example of God in letting repented sin be removed as far as the east is from the west from those who hurt us?

All this said, what was natural in Eden is supernatural now,  since we dwell in enemy occupied territory (life with sin).  There is no true forgiveness without the blood of the lamb.  Forgiveness at this point in time involves our choice, asking for God’s help, and receiving God’s gift.  Is it possible to view someone who has hurt you as so clean that their sins are as far from them as the east is from the west?  Yes, with God all things are possible. If you want a healthy soul, spirit and body, dig into this mystery with the help of Jesus.

Roman 2:1-4
1 You may be saying, “What terrible people you have been talking about!” But you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you do these very same things. 2 And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. 3 Do you think that God will judge and condemn others for doing them and not judge you when you do them, too? 4 Don’t you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don’t you care? Can’t you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin? 

THE UNCRITICAL TEMPER (from Oswald Chambers–My Utmost for His Highest

Judge not, that ye be not judged.

Matthew 7:1
http://www.SearchGodsWord.org/desk/?query=mt+7:1&sr=1

Jesus says regarding judging – Don’t. The average Christian is the
most penetratingly critical individual. Criticism is a part of the
ordinary faculty of man; but in the spiritual domain nothing is
accomplished by criticism. The effect of criticism is a dividing up
of the powers of the one criticized; the Holy Ghost is the only One
in the true position to criticize, He alone is able to show what is
wrong without hurting and wounding. It is impossible to enter into
communion with God when you are in a critical temper; it makes you
hard and vindictive and cruel, and leaves you with the flattering
unction that you are a superior person. Jesus says, as a disciple
cultivate the uncritical temper. It is not done once and for all.
Beware of anything that puts you in the superior person’s place.

There is no getting away from the penetration of Jesus. If I see the
mote in your eye, it means I have a beam in my own. Every wrong thing
that I see in you, God locates in me. Every time I judge, I condemn
myself (see Romans 2:17-20). Stop having a measuring rod for other
people. There is always one fact more in every man’s case about which
we know nothing. The first thing God does is to give us a spiritual
spring-cleaning; there is no possibility of pride left in a man after
that. I have never met the man I could despair of after discerning
what lies in me apart from the grace of God.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and
with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you
again.

Matthew 7:2
http://www.SearchGodsWord.org/desk/?query=mt+7:2&sr=1

This statement is not a haphazard guess, it is an eternal law of God.
Whatever judgment you give, it is measured to you again. There is a
difference between retaliation and retribution. Jesus says that the
basis of life is retribution – “with what measure ye mete, it shall
be measured to you again.” If you have been shrewd in finding out the
defects in others, remember that will be exactly the measure given to
you. Life serves back in the coin you pay. This law works from God’s
throne downwards (cf. Psalm 18:25-26).

Romans 2 applies it in a still more definite way, and says that the
one who criticizes another is guilty of the very same thing. God
looks not only at the act, He looks at the possibility. We do not
believe the statements of the Bible to begin with. For instance, do
we believe this statement, that the things we criticize in others we
are guilty of ourselves? The reason we see hypocrisy and fraud and
unreality in others is because they are all in our own hearts. The
great characteristic of a saint is humility – Yes, all those things
and other evils would have been manifested in me but for the grace of
God, therefore I have no right to judge.

Jesus says – “Judge not, that ye be not judged” if you do judge, it
will be measured to you exactly as you have judged. Who of us would
dare to stand before God and say – “My God, judge me as I have judged
my fellow men?” We have judged our fellow men as sinners; if God
should judge us like that we would be in hell. God judges us through
the marvellous Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Summary of My Choices and What I Would Do Differently


This week I discovered a bunch of lumps in my pectoral muscles and also between the implants and both clavicles (collar bones). Initially, I thought there were just a few lumps, but either they kept increasing in number or I missed palpating some. This coming Friday, June 3, I will see the oncologist. I have had non-cancerous lumps before, and prayerfully these are also.

However, there have been changes in my lifestyle since I had the last MRI that showed the lymphoma was shrinking:

1.) I started wearing a bra again, even at night, because the alloderm holding my implants in place is deteriorating. In my vanity, I was trying to make the implants last as long as possible. However, bra wearing decreases lymphatic flow which in turn decreases healing and detoxifying of the tissues. See my paper in this blog on this subject.

2.) I also relaxed significantly in my diet, so much so, that after our trip to Ireland my blood sugar went to above the normal range.

3.) I included meat in my diet– quality, free range meat, but still meat. In retropect,I think good quality meat is fine for healthy people, but those with chronic disease may not be able to handle the acidifying effects that meat has on the body.

I am blogging about this in order to encourage others to stay the course in changing your lifestyle in factors which may have contributed to disease. Again, I am not saying that diet heals. God heals, but bad diet and lifestyle can prevent health from lasting.

Here is a summary of the actions that I would do the same or do differently based upon my experiences.

1.) I would do the mastectomies right off the bat, and I would not do radiation or reconstruction.

2.) I would do the Gerson diet until the cancer is gone with very few modifications. I would take out all grains like the GAPS diet. I would do serious probiotics as recommended in the GAPs and Clean diet. I would eat no beef, chicken or pork, minimal fish, and no simple carbs like sugar. I would do organic veggies and fruits as much as possible as well as small amounts of wild caught fish.

3.) I would do my adventure with cancer as a spiritual journey with Jesus knowing that he would have blessings and gifts for me in the process Never has anything in my life gifted me or grown me like this interlude with cancer. Because of all that my Lord carried me through, I know that I know that I know Jesus loves me forever. Nothing will ever take that from me.

4.) I would detox my life spiritually, physically and mentally. “Simplify, purify and be transparent,” would describe my lifestyle.

5.) I would make decisions based more on health and less on vanity.

6.) I would find ways to eat my chosen way without being drawn into social eating or compromise. In truth, I still have not figured this one out–nor have I found a way to travel and eat in a way that is consistent with my diet plan.

Blessings to each one who reads this– hold firm. The most important part is staying the course with Jesus. You can make every other decision wrong except for the choice to belong to Him. If you belong to Him, it will all turn out for the good. It is a promise that you can build your life upon– an eternal life. />

Temple Maintenance


My sweet husband let me know that I have been mis-communicating big time in my  blog and in personal conversations.  This entry is an effort to correct those miscommunications.

My belief is that God and God alone is healing me (0r has healed me).  The diets that I have tried, and all the things that I have changed in my life are an effort to do better temple maintenance–they are not what I am relying upon for healing.

It seems when you have a chronic disease, like cancer, it is often a statement that you were not following the owner’s manual in doing proper temple maintenance.  In the case of humans, the owner’s manual is the Bible.  All of my experiments and delving for information have been simply to find those pieces of the puzzle to fit together in order to get a better picture of how to take  care of my body.

In the course of my investigation, I have read what the Bible says about nutrition.  And I have explored many other expositions on this subject.  Many of you who personally know me, may chuckle over my many forays into trying different diets.

This is the subject for another and much more in depth blog.  Believe it or not, I feel like I have benefitted greatly from those diet trials in the sense of getting a big picture view and making a workable healthy temple maintenance program.  I will summarize and review that in depth in another entry.

In this entry, I just want to say–to God be the glory.  The last CT scan showed that the lymphoma is receding and I believe, God since then may have completely healed me.  It is God alone who deserves all honor and credit.  Amen!

Being in the Now


Here is an excellent article from Crosswalk.com.

Time Management God’s Way

Craig Groeschel, author of “WEIRD: Because Normal Isn’t Working”

  • Friday, April 15, 2011

I was in a restaurant recently when I glanced over and noticed a family of four at another table, each person’s head bowed. I thought, “Oh, they’re praying together before their meal.” But, when I happened to look back later, they were still looking down. Suddenly I realized: they weren’t praying. They were all typing into their phones! They were oblivious to one another, each person connecting with people who weren’t even there. Maybe you’ve seen the same thing—perhaps even in your own family.

With always-on access to global news, information, and even to other people, it’s normal (even easy) for us to lose focus on the world right in front of us. When we’re constantly flipping channels, we start treating our attention like currency, careful not to spend it all in one place. Just as a look in your checkbook can reveal what you truly value, honestly assessing your daily activities and interactions can show you which things (and people) you really care about.

My wife Amy helped me see this in my own life. For years it was normal for me to only half-listen at home. Occasionally she would ask, “Are you listening to me?” I’d respond with a relationship survival skill I had adapted: I’d repeat back to her the last several words she had just said. But we both knew I wasn’t giving my undivided attention.

Then one day she asked me a very different question. She calmly explained, “You have a lot going on with the church. I’ll always support you. But when you’re with our family, can you be all here?” Her request was perfectly fair and reasonable.

Wherever you are, be all there.

That one tiny idea radically transformed the way I now conduct my everyday life. It immediately strengthened my relationships and, over time, even improved my capacity to make tough decisions. In the cloud of endless to-do’s where most of us live, our minds are so cluttered that we overlook the joy just in being alive today. Be honest: Even as you’re reading this article, do your thoughts keep trying to wander to everything else happening in your life?

In our culture, that’s normal. Normal people are distracted, rarely fully present. We all have to fight getting pulled into the orbit of that constant gravity of busyness. Urgent tasks and priorities desperately cry out for our attention. Maybe it’s a chicken-or-egg situation, but I believe all that noise harms our well-being more than the legitimate stress of all the things we actually “have to do.” If you want to be different, you have to live differently. Weird people learn to silence distractions and remain fully in the moment.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity.” (Ephesians 5:15–16) To leverage that advice when we make decisions, we need to answer: What is the wise thing to do in this situation? And what would it mean to “make the most” of this particular opportunity?

Christ had to make difficult decisions about how he would spend his limited time on earth. His example has a lot to teach us. But we have to take the time to discover what things are important to God by reading the words he gave us. We must also invest time meditating on what those things mean in our everyday lives. Then, the next time the chaos of urgency tries to dictate your next action, you can press pause. Having already thought about which things are most important, you’ll be able to make intentional decisions. (Urgent does not necessarily equal important.) Even if a decision carries you another step forward, it’s not progress if it leads you away from where you actually want to go.

In another letter from Paul, in Colossians 3:17, he suggested, “whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” When I focus on the things I believe are important to God, I live differently. I don’t make decisions based on my feelings, insecurities, or selfish ambitions. Instead, I tend to favor others who have greater need. The conversations I have lend themselves to deeper, intimate connections—not simple, superficial information exchanges. “Did you go by the cleaners?” gives way to genuine care: “So, how was your day?”

Just as important as your to-do list—and perhaps more important—what’s on your to-don’t list? When you focus on the purposes you believe God created you for, you’ll have the stability to say no to some good things. And that will give you the space to be able say yes to the best things when they present themselves. Rather than just reacting to the waves of things that come, you can ride them with deliberate intention.

James 4:14 reminds us, “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” We can’t have more time, but we can live with a greater awareness of the limited time we do have. Every opportunity that arrives on your doorstep will require some decision. If you’ve already decided what you value, you can fully enjoy each moment, secure that you’re living the life you want. God gives us an amazing present every day. Normal people leave this gift unwrapped, unrealized, unappreciated, and it’s gone before they know it. Weird people know there’s no time like the present.

Craig Groeschel is the founder and senior pastor of LifeChurch.tv. He, his wife, Amy, and their six children live in Edmond, Okla., where LifeChurch.tv began in 1996. A bestselling author, his latest new book is called WEIRD: Because Normal Isn’t Working. His previous titles include The Christian AtheistChazown and It.

Judging vs. Honoring


I was challenged the other day to explain the bad kind of judging.  (We also use the word judge for discern which is a good and necessary part of life.)  As I struggled to explain this, I realized that I did not understand it all that well.

So after some research and brainstorming with Elijah House friends, here are the conclusions:

Judging is the opposite of honoring.  These concepts are both involved in big spiritual principles from the Bible.  ”As you judge you will be judged.”( Mt. 7:1), and “Honor your father and mother so that all may go well with you, and your life will be long in the land.” (Eph 6: 1-3).

When we judge we lock someone in the past in our mind.  We choose to limit their potential in our thinking and in our interactions with them.  Instead of helping them to become what God wants them to be, we keep them in a box by labeling them according to their past actions.  Of course, there are other types of judging.  We can think of someone as “fat”,  ”ugly “, or “stupid” or maybe just “not as enlightened as me”.   These may not be based in history with that person, just in our judgmental attitude of heart.

Honor, on the other hand, is future based.  It is founded on possibilities.   When we honor someone, we see them through God’s eyes as they were meant to be and as they can be with God’s intervention.  Honor is looking at someone, even someone who has hurt you, and choosing to see them as lovable and redeemable.  It means putting aside your own wounds to consider their hurts that have made them the way they are.  Honor is personified by Jesus on the cross when he said, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”  He looked past the viscousness, tyranny, and cruelty to see that those who tortured and crucified him had wounded hearts so that  they did not understand what they were doing.

Asking for forgiveness for judging is a regular part of my life.  I don’t have the gentle kind of heart that automatically moves to forgiveness and healing.  I need constant intervention on the part of the Lord.  Some people whom I know always seem to look at situations through other people’s eyes.  They move without thinking into the forgiveness mode or the acceptance / love mode.  Praise God for such people.  I think they are not really human–they are actually angels.  (I happen to be married to one of them.)

For the rest of us, thank God for prayer.  Thank God for the constant availability of the Holy Spirit to help us through the process of forgiving and being forgiven.  For me forgiving and being forgiven is the most life-changing and powerful tool that we as Christians are given.  It is a gift that I want to pass on to all of mankind.  Praise God for his good gifts and for the training in how to use them.  (Read Pray Through It by Rob Morrissette)  Indeed, just praise God!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Complaining


Complaining seems inextricably linked with self righteousness.  If I put myself up as a god, then that gives me the right to criticize or complain, as I would always know what is best.

I just read in Acts that Paul said we are not to criticize our leaders.  Further, we are also given very specific instructions on how to deal with something that someone has done to us.  This process never involves murmuring or complaining.  It does not allow venting.  Nor whining.

We are to go directly to the person who has wronged us or about whom we have a complaint.  Then we are to lovingly bring it to their attention, keeping right motives in our heart.  If they do not listen then we are to go back with one or two witnesses.  And, of course,  we are to pray.

If we choose not to confront them, then we need to learn to forgive and live with whatever the situation is without rancor or bitterness.

This is not to say that all will turn out to our liking.  It may actually be that the biggest adjustment is needed in our own hearts.

Choosing Your Cloak


Through a long series of discoveries, my eyes were opened to the fact that I was wearing a cloak of self righteousness.  I am not saying that I was not a Christ follower–in truth, I belonged to Christ.  What I saw in myself was a goodie two shoes, a brown noser, a people pleaser, a person who needed to be good and right etc.  Self righteousness can be equated to setting yourself up as a god.  It is a very serious and destructive sin.

Our small group helped me pray through this (check out the book, Pray Through It, by Rob Morissette).  This process involves the RIPE acronym for “RECOGNIZE”, “INVESTIGATE”, “PRAY” and “EXPERIENCE”.

The first step was already done in that I recognized that I had this problem.  The second step of investigating could usually be done by asking questions of the person involved or their family, especially parents.  I had no clue as to the root of this, and my parents are dead.

So as a small group, we incorporated the “investigate”  into the “pray” part and prayed as a group that God would reveal where this pattern had started in my life.  God immediately gave me a sense that I started this pattern early on in order to steal favor from another family member.  Apparently, I had a mistaken notion that there was only so much approval to go around.  Approval equated with love in my childish thinking.  I set out to get more than my share of approval or love by being righteous.

The “pray” portion of the RIPE process also includes repenting.  I asked forgiveness of God and family members out loud in prayer with the small group and spoke forgiveness to any whom I may have felt did not give me enough love in my childish misperceptions.   I also looked for vows that I may have implemented in my life.  It seemed that I had a vow of ,”I must always be right.”  This vow was renounced and broken by the cross and blood of Christ.

The last step is to “experience”,  meaning to walk in new freedom.  I felt an immediate difference after this process– a lightness and the biggest change that I have noticed since I began this Elijah House “un-peeling the onion” process. (See previous Elijah House entries to understand this reference.)  I noticed that I could look in people’s eyes without fear that they will see the phony me inside.  No longer did I  cringe away from touches or hugs.  As a final part of this process, I went to the family member whom I had wronged to make amends.  He graciously forgave me.

The biggest freedom in no longer wearing the cloak of self righteousness is this:   I am now really free to be fully covered by the cloak of royalty as a daughter of the living God.  Great exchange!

The Stranger-from February 4, 2009


The following story was sent to me by email.  The timing of this was so interesting.  It was right after we had an AT&T salesperson come to the door doing an advance sale of the fiberoptic system that will be started up.  This covers DSL which we have and TV reception which we do not have.

At first I was going to get just the DSL which would be 5 to 7 time faster than what we have for $5 more a month.  Then I listened to the deal with TV and it sounded very good.   I signed up for both and was supposed to get a call and email within 24 hours.  Days later, I got a call from Jennie, the salesperson.  She said that every house in our neighborhood except our house had this available.

My immediate reaction was disappointment until I thought it over.  Even as I was signing up for the service, I was having qualms of doubt.  “Is this a good thing for us?”

Interestingly, I got this email below a day later.

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was
new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was
fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited
him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly
accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never
questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had
a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors:
Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But
the stranger…he was our storyteller. He would keep us
spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and
comedies.  If I wanted to know anything about politics,
history or science, he always knew the answers about the
past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict
the future! He took my family to the first major league ball
game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger
never stopped talking, but Dad didn’t seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us
were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say,
and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I
wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but
the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity,
for example, was not allowed in our home… Not from us, our
friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got
away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my
dad squirm and my mother blush.  My Dad didn’t permit
the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us
to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool,
cigars manly and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much
too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant,
sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.  I now
know that my early concepts about relationships were
influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he
opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom
rebuked… And NEVER asked to leave. More than fifty years
have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He
has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he
was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents’
den today, you would still find him sitting over in his
corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch
him draw his pictures. His name?…. We just call him,
“TV.”?? He has a wife now…we call her
“Computer”

Settling in for the Long Haul-from January 23, 2009


A friend sent me the book “When the Pieces Don’t Fit” by Glaphre.  It is a great book and the timing of the book in my life was also excellent.

Since Dec. 2006, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, life has been on a fast track.  There has always been something new to deal with and prayer support has been pretty much continual and amazing.  Life has been dealt with on a short term basis.

Glaphre, the author of the book mentioned above, had a chronic, long term, painful and debilitating illness.  She showed how to live graciously and victoriously with God’s will in such a situation.

Long term dealing has always been the toughest thing for me.  Hopefully, my last major surgery is coming up on Feb 13 (to have the permanent implants put in).  There will be one more minor surgery for cosmetic stuff.  Hopefully, this will be the end to the short term crises of breast cancer.

Then, I will be looking at the more long term dealing with lymphoma.  This week I had major pain which I thought was due to the lymphoma (lymphatic cancer).  It seemed that this pain was going to be with me for the duration– a taste of what Glaphre dealt with for over half her life.  The pain has since disappeared and I am back to very low level pain which can be ignored.

This taste of big pain made me think about things differently.  Let me tell you, firsthand at this point in my life, if you think life will be one long bout of pain, it is hard to be joyful.  It knots you up with tension and it overlays a gray color upon your life.

Yet Glaphre dealt with this and emerged in victory.  Her secret was her give and take relationship with the Holy Spirit.  She practiced responsive listening.  Her book could be an advertisement for Elijah House as she ended up teaching on prayer and inner healing in the last part of her life. (She was not involved in Elijah House.  She just practiced the same Biblical principles as they teach.)

What it really came down to, though, was obedient listening.  She listened to the Holy Spirit and did what she was told.  She let God guide her out of her self created box and she refused to see other people in boxes of judgement.

That is what prayer is all about, what victory is all about, what Elijah House is all about, and what freedom is all about!  It is also about learning to live joyfully even when God says no to a miraculous healing.  I am still asking for that healing, but I am taking notes on how to live if God says no.  There is no box or formula big enough to contain God– he is not a tame God.  So his purposes will be accomplished even if he does it His way and not ours.

“When the Pieces Don’t Fit”  by Glaphre will help anyone in any situation.  Don’t wait for major pain.  Her perspective is honest, practical and contagious.  She died March 8, 2005.  I look forward to meeting her one day.

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